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The Forest Feast

I got a cookbook..... The Forest Feast by Erin Gleeson. Desi was very excited over this cookbook and her excitement was contagious so I got it too. And this is the first dish that I made, an asparagus tart and it turned out delicious. All the recipes are vegetarian.

I am actually looking forward to making something else. I do cook....once in a while.
Today me and Chhaya watched the sunset. My baby is so beautiful.

Then I spent the rest of the evening on the couch, drinking tea, eating cookies, reading and listening to music. With Chhaya sleeping next to me.


Yesterday it was Desi's birthday and we went to TeaBuzz for some afternoon tea.
Because that is what ladies do.

I had the Lady Grey.

Our group with the birthday girl in the middle.

So Joanna that owns and runs TeaBuzz (she is great) went to Tokyo last weekend and while there she and her husband met up with my brother. Isn't that so cool?! Joanna thought we were twins when she saw him. :-)
I need to go and visit my brother in Tokyo......

Lost & Found

So at the club there is a lost & found bin in a corner. I actually emptied it out last night and rummaged through it because I am missing some pink leggings......yeah I am annoyed over this fact. That I am missing a pair of leggings that is.
In the bin I discovered a lot of interesting items and quickly made it into a comedy show for anyone that happened to be around. First of all a bunch of used and discarded make up, most of it I threw away but there was a rather new eye shadow palette by Urban Decay, one of those Naked ones if you know what I mean. I have one of those and I would not leave that behind. So that one went back in the bin. Mainly the lost & found bin had many pairs of high heels, a pair of boots and underwear.....some visibly worn. Used heels and panties = yummy!
I decided that this bin will be for rent on a weekly basis. I think $150/week is a reasonable price to be able to play with a make up palette, many pairs of shoes and worn panties. Ad on Craigslist about renting this treasure coming soon.

I also found these pills. Decided not to experiment and try any myself. Found a buyer that got all 10 for $50. Great success!

And then look at this find! A Coach bag, I named it "Assault Bag".....perfect for those evenings when people are just sitting around staring at us and not tipping. I will parade around reminding them where they are at with a swift slap across their backs with the Assault Bag. are NOT at home now, half a sleep in front of the TV. Participate by opening up your wallet or go home. Thank You.

Do you have a lost & found at your job? Used panties and shoes in it too or mainly other stuff?
And before anyone reading this thinks that I actually sold those pills for $50. Of course I didn't. I did the right thing and gave them to management. I am funny but I am not stupid.

Facebook And Social Media

From today, "On Tuesday and Wednesday, the Facebook co-founder and CEO will testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee and the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation, and later he'll appear before the House Energy and Commerce Committee. This comes after weeks of uncertainty over whether Zuckerberg would agree to meet with lawmakers following the Cambridge Analytica (CA) scandal, which may have exposed the private information of up to 87 million users."

I am not sure how to feel about this. And I am not sure that I comprehend what really happened with the sharing of information.
But a former Facebook executive, Chamath Palihapitiya, said this about the company he once worked for, "The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops that we have created are destroying how society works. No civil discourse, no cooperation, misinformation, mistruth.”

I have Facebook but my group of contacts or as we know it "friends" is rather small. I am not sure what Facebook could had gathered from me besides a lot of pics of me and Chhaya, me posting about my political views and opinions on animal cruelty and pictures from places I went to and with whom. As of today I have 57 friends. And almost all of them I know IN REAL LIFE. Two are cousins in Poland, that I have never met on my Dad's side that I connected with and exchanged a few messages back and forth with about family related stuff. One is a guy I really don't know but I have communicated with him about important Burning Man stuff that relates to me and my interests. The rest are friends and family. And it is more convenient and cheaper to PM my family and friends in Sweden instead of writing letters, emails or calling.
I call my Mom and brother through Facebook for free, in the past I spent a lot on long distance calls. But I do not have random friends and I am also like that in real life, I don't like loose and fake connections. I do not believe for a second that the people with several hundreds or thousands of friends on Facebook know all those people in reality or have even met all of them, regardless of what they claim. I can see the benefits of having that many contacts on Facebook if you are a professional in some field where networking is important (like real estate, designer, photographer/artist or DJing come to mind) but other than Not for me.
I know someone with 5000 friends (I think that is the limit), the famous Sarah Jane aka WonderHussy and through her network I was able to rent a car for several months from a private person instead of using a car rental place, so that worked out great. She also helped me out with some other things through her network of people. She also promotes herself on Facebook so I guess all those connections work in her favor. Besides my meager 57 friends (does this mean that nobody likes me??!! boooohooooo) I am also part of two Burning Man communities and two dog related groups on Facebook, the latter have been very informative and helpful. So I can totally see the benefits of Facebook but I am also aware of the fake lives some people pretend to have on social media. And that I don't particularly like.
The perfect relationship or #GOALS when in reality the relationship sucks really bad.
Your significant other abuses you verbally and/or physically but on Facebook you have the perfect relationship and many likes, because likes are important. It is embarrassing to live a lie like that. Plus who really looks at a complete strangers couple pics and thinks "goals"? I can see immature kids doing that maybe but an adult? I hope not.
Or distorting/filtering your face until you look nothing like what you do in reality. Do I put up a pic of me that makes me look in my eyes ugly or a pic where I look normal or pretty?
Of course I pick the one where I look "pretty", I am not going to pretend that I don't but I would hope you would still recognize me if you saw me out. Perhaps not when I wear my hair in the bun I fell asleep with last night and my glasses on but with my hair loose or braided and my face washed and contact lenses in. I pretty much look rather disheveled during the day anyways. Because I don't care, I am not trying to impress any men out there.

I would be lucky if 57 people came to my birthday party.

Although I genuinely enjoy taking pictures. Before Facebook and all other social media I loved taking photos (both me being in front of the camera and behind it) and I really like photography. I have several very thought out photo albums, unfortunately many of them went missing (stolen), which still to this day makes me sad.

I think this is true for some people......

The internet has been of great benefit to me. I real A LOT. I love absorbing news, information and facts, so many subjects are interesting to me but I think that social media and the disconnection especially the younger generation, today's teens, is experiencing, the lack of REAL eye to eye communication is damaging and I think we see this development when kids go to school and shoot people. Even when adults go on that shooting rampage that is so common here in the US. There is a major disconnection and desensitization happening and that is very bad. Society in many ways is sick.
Here is an interesting article that touches the subject.
"Social media led to numerous instances of cyberbullying and sexual harassment, and several students said it had contributed to their depression."
""The kinds of challenges that I experienced in high school along with my peers are now 24/7 issues because of technology, computers, cellphones, and social media," Shane Feldman, an undercover student who graduated from high school in 2012, told Business Insider. "There's no real escape."

Also young girls feel, due to social media, very insecure about their appearances. And turn to surgery to fix whatever they feel makes them imperfect. Those ass pics on Instagram that women put up.....everyone's behind can look plump and great if you just take the picture from the right angle, have good light and pump your behind out and arch your back.
Trust me, I can put up two pics of my butt, one where it looks like Instagram #GOALS and another where it doesn't look appealing at all, according to social media. Plus it makes me feel uneasy that girls need that much attention focused on tits and ass ONLY, fishing for comments, likes and approval from mostly strangers that are male that really do not care anything about the girl behind that image, they only want to have sex and more pics of your body parts.
Having said that, I can't be a hypocrite. I too have pics of my body parts (butt & boobs) on this blog and even a full nude or two but the latter were the results of photoshoots and I feel that the pics are both beautiful and tasteful and not at all intended for getting random dudes interested in me. I feel that there is beauty and art in the naked body but there is a fine line and also a line in the eyes of the observer to what is artistic and what is pure objectification.
The butt & boob pics can be explained to my reality as a dancer, this is normal to me and I am surrounded by women in various stages of undress and the pics were perhaps put up in relation to a blog entry but I am sure some made no sense at all.....kind of cringe worthy probably. LOL. Although I do see the beauty in nudity and form.
Besides if you have been reading my blog for a while, there is much more here than butt and boobs.

Oh and consumerism of human beings. Not for me. But I understand that people want a connection and for some a connection for an evening is better than no connection at all. And there are those who have found love or at least a relationship, however long it lasted, on Tinder. So that is good.
But yes, in Japan especially younger people are not interested in real love, they instead fall "in love" with a meme or a game character. I don't get that. Again, the disconnection. There is a difference between wanting to be left alone and have some quality alone time and being disconnected from society. I don't think the latter is good for your mental well being.
Unless you are a true hermit, a Buddhist monk or a person searching for an enlightenment of some sort.

Every time I take that first sip of my hopefully well brewed latte, I am grateful and enjoy the moment.

I have wondered this many times. And I still wonder sometimes.

Today's latte with a pretty heart on top. I sent this pic to two friends that comforted me yesterday when I was sad and upset. Yes, I have those days. Like a good part of 2016 I was sad and upset. But I am so over that sadness. But I encounter situations where I need to talk to somebody and get their input and somebody that is there, listening and caring. It is nice to have friends.

All the pictures for this entry (except the latte pic) come from the March/April 2018 issue of Adbusters. A rather good issue this time, I am sending one copy to a friend in CA.


Did you have a nice Easter? Perhaps you don't celebrate Easter? I did more of a "traditional" Easter growing up with coloring eggs, decorating the house and my Mom would make certain food. This year me and Chhaya spent Easter at the Oregon coast. Went back to the beach house and had some very nice and relaxing days.....
My little Easter bunny and her eggs.

I am an Easter bunny too!

I drank tea every day....this has been my fave tea for months now.

I made apple pie. I covered the sliced apples with a top layer of crust that I poured caramel on which I made from was actually really good and the crust came out scrumptious.

Lots of cuddles! And I have a new fave tv show. Tosh.0 - how funny isn't that?

The dogs were happy. Chhaya took long walks on the beach and relaxed.

Senna ran around the beach with me and played in the water.

Sea lions sun bathing in Newport. They were so fun to watch! I want Chhaya and Senna to see the sea lions next time we go. Newport is a nice little town with lots of stuff to see.

One of the many murals.

This resembles an Easter Island statue to me.

I can't wait to go back to the beach house - I love it there. Chhaya does as well. ❤️ I am so happy and grateful. Happy Easter! :-)


Once in a while I feel like a giving sharing kind of human and bring in candy to work. For me and for my lovely co workers and for everybody else to chew on. We have candy by the entrance, the person sitting at the entrance checks IDs, collects the entrance fee and gives change and you can also grab some candy and perhaps leave a tip that goes to the door person.
Sometimes when I am bored, which happens a lot because I have a short attention span and get bored easily, I will stand by the front door and offer my out of this world humor and hand out candy.

I "demand" a tip that goes in the bucket and to the door person. I do this to amuse myself so I don't crawl out of my skin. I either threaten with violence if I don't get a tip or I come up with something witty or funny (according to me) I am pregnant and we are collecting money for my abortion and by the way it is Trump's baby. Or we are having a collection for my upcoming hemorrhoid removal surgery (I just don't get tired of the hemorrhoid jokes), or I need money for my sex change operation. Because I am really a man and the heterosexual male in general is deadly frightened of any attraction to another man. Even though there are more men working in strip clubs than you would guys just don't know it cause you are "blind" for the most part. LOL! Whatever pops in my head in that moment I blurt out.
So last week a group of young troglodytes wandered in and hovered at the entrance like a flock of dimwits. I offered them some candy.....and one of them looked at me with big eyes like I was trying to poison him and blurted out something like accepting candy from a stripper would be stupid. OK.....whatever. I told him to step away from my personal space. BARF. Yes.....I am definitely trying to give you tainted with dirt or poison candy because all I need is to get into some legal trouble over some troglodyte that means nothing to me.
How about focusing on psychos giving out bad Halloween candy to little kids who just have to go trick or treating because getting candy from strangers is more important than the safety of children? Or how about all the good ol' church going folks that do things that I would never dream of that married dude with two kids who decided to take a girl about 30 years younger than him to Mexico for some "fun". He met her in can do many things in church, looking for children to rape shouldn't be one of them.
So yes you confused troglodyte, the likelihood of you getting poisoned by some candy I got at the store is basically nil but you can never be too careful in life so I guess I can understand your trepidation. After all, I usually don't eat anything strangers offer me either.

Spearmint Rhino

The Spearmint Rhino or The Rhino in Las Vegas recently went through a renovation.....well not that recently, I think they finished up last year. I worked there but it is not my fave place to work. Way too many girls any day of the week, that makes it difficult to make money which in turn is frustrating. Too many girls go home negative, meaning they can't make their house fee back. That happened to me more than once. Plus you have to valet your car if you drive and I hate that. So after a particularly difficult night I drove home crying and decided to get another job, which I did the next day. That is when I started working at the cafe. I am no longer in Vegas, which is good.
There are Spearmint Rhino locations all over the US and abroad. I worked at two locations when I was in London years ago.
One more thing.....they have thousands of names of girls in the computer. One person told me there are 12 000 names and the name you want to go by can't be used already. It took me 45 minutes to come up with a name, I was writing down name after name on a sheet of paper and every name I came up with was a no. Of course I could not be Tatiana or does't matter what name I picked. Hopefully I will never work there again.
Anyhow, if you do work at The Rhino good luck to you.


Last year when I was in Vegas I got two pairs of very cute panties at Victoria's dark blue pair and one dark gray pair with sparkles all over them. They had them in light pink as well but those were sold out in my size. Size Medium in case anyone wonders and wants to get me cute panties as a gift. I only accept Victoria's Secret, Agent Provocateur, La Perla and Hanky Panky (the regular one size fits all for the Hanky Panky).
Anyyyyyyhow.....I happily discovered a pair of the light pink ones at Victoria's Secret the other day and I had to have them.

They are the cheeky style and look like this on the cheeks....butt cheeks that is.

And a pic of me just case anyone missed my face.

Speaking of dancing and strip clubs.....I read all kinds of stuff and the other day I came across a few dancers discussing the business in a forum for dancers. Here is some of the conversation and my thoughts on it.....

"Are there clubs that haven't gone downhill?
Title says it all. I am not gonna ask where these clubs are just wondering if they even exist. Seems like everywhere around where I live and 100s of miles in various directions has gone quite far downhill. Makes a newbie wanna get out of the industry really and this is very demotivating. I "do well" comparatively everywhere I go, but this just isn't meeting the amounts I want to make.
Is everywhere on a downhill trend in this industry? Are there any places on an uphill trend? I am wondering if I should get out before I "get stuck" doing this shit."

Oh....I too feel that clubs have gone downhill. Let's see what else the girls had to say.

"The industry has been in decline for a long time and anybody who says it isn't is either stupid or in denial with delusional positivity. Usually it's the latter but the former seems to be infiltrating our ranks and hastening the demise of our already fragile ecosystem.
That being said, we're not dead YET. There's still money to be made but you have to adapt or die. That's the way it is. Don't be in such a hurry to exit the boat. Travel dance, explore your options and have a backup plan."

"The top strip clubs I know of on the East Coast still are making crazy mad money BUT they are strict with hiring standards and a lot of the $$$$$ profit margin comes from high end liquor sales, not really the dancers or the club itself."

"Let's put it this 2006, girls would bitch if they "only" made 400 a night. I was clearing between 800-1000 regularly then. Now, you're lucky to leave with 300.
It may be because I'm older and burned out. I don't look old (ppl still guess me for way younger) but like I said, I'm tired.
Clubs are dead now, compared to what they used to be. Money was more consistent. My regulars from 13 years ago are still coming to see me, and thank God because they're your bread and butter. Not a high turnover of customers like there used to be. I'm about to change careers bc the club scene is going downhill. Yes, there is still money to be made, but I really don't feel like competing with girls who make out/date/fuck customers as a way of gaining competitive edge. That isn't what dancers, strictly dancers, do. Wish I had a more upbeat answer for you. It's an industry-wide thing I guess."

"I've noticed the Average Strip Club Customer is more demanding. & The stalker problems I've faced in the past 8 years have gotten far more disturbing due to social media + Google......Like, the strip club seems to be a social war zone. Years ago when I was a newbie baby dancer, the strip bar was a giant joke that you hid from your parents.
Honestly being a stripper was the smartest move I ever made in my life. However today it's more hazardous than it was in the heyday of stripclubs (1970s-90s.)"

"I work at a well-known club in Miami for over 5-6 years but been dancing longer. I've notice every year, it's getting harder. It's seem like more and more customers/men aren't incline to spend at the strip club other then a cheap ass beer and just there "hanging out." A lot of the girls said that it's the Cuban girls, which flooded the club scene here, that is hurting the business by sucking and fucking customers in the champagne room. But to me, I think it's a generational thing.
The Internet change the game. Free porn sites. Dating/hook-up apps. Social media. Men today have more options than before and as well spending less to no money to see a girl naked. I've hearing from younger guys how spending money at a strip club is just "stupid and lame" and "let just go there, have a drink and look at pussy for free," Aghhhh. Gets me annoyed when I hear it, especially in the club. The worst part is that the older white male are being phrased out as I've been seeing them less and less in the club and more of the "ghetto" crowd coming in. With the new "generation" of customers coming in to fill-in, the dancers of the future are going to have a hard time."

"I think one issue that has yet to be be addressed is societies changing attitudes about sex and stripping. There is far less stigma against stripping than there was 10-20 years ago. That in itself is amazing but it also means there are more girls willing to give stripping a try. And those who do have more liberal views about sex. It is not just Cuban girls who are willing to do more for less money."

"If you are a good dancer, the decline of strip clubs will not hurt your numbers. If anything it's a good time to look at ourselves and see what we can do to improve our game. It's easy to focus on the outside but the inside is where the magic happens. As long as you take care of the inside none of this matters."

"On topic, the industry isn't the golden goose anymore, but I think you can definitely still make a good living as a dancer. It requires more hours & harder hustling though. You can't prance in for 5 hours and clear $500 with just stage & "Hi I'm Selina, want a dance?" There's a hell of a lot more schmoozing & sales skills & patience required to make that money.
It's partly cause of the saturation of girls, but it's also exactly what the OP is saying - clubs lowering standards in all directions & customer quality going down with it."

"I don't care how "good" you are this industry is declining and it's going to affect everyone, eventually. Maybe not today, not tomorrow hell not for years.
And of course we're going to focus on the outside! The "magic on the inside" or whatever metaphysical nonsense you're spewing doesn't pay the bills. The decline of this industry does matter!!"

"lol right. meditating and eating clean and repeating stupid mantras doesn't cut it when the clubs are dead and hot 20 year olds are giving blowjobs for cheap. idc what you look like or how smart you are, when your only options are 7 broke losers with $100 or less in their pocket and they all want the most bang for their buck.. you're gonna have a bad time. nowadays people go to strip clubs on a budget. and the clubs encourage it with their stupid cheap food and drink specials like someone else said.
there's still money to be made but only if you can travel or move to one of the few good cities left. not everyone can travel or move. i think the girls who live in good areas and work at good clubs are oblivious bc they still make money an assume everyone else is just lazy or not cut out for the job."

"I think the industry has changed so much since stripping became mainstream and "cool". Also the internet the fact that girls are on IG promoting and stuff before it was so hush hush for both the dancers and customers and different types were in the club now its just anybody hanging out."

"yes, girls pulling out their phones to make a snapchat video when a guy orders a bottle? No wonder the money isn't here anymore...."

Phew......are you still reading? So I think there is truth to most of that. I do think that overall the strip club business has gone downhill, perhaps not for the clubs in liquor and beer sales but for the girls dancing there. I have always thought that quality over quantity is the key to dancers but so many clubs hire anything that can shuffle around in a pair of heels even if the person has no business being a dancer for many different reasons. Too many girls in the club and not enough guys means that girls (some, not all girls and definitely NOT the author penning this blog) turn desperate and do whatever to make $. Whether it's lowering dance prices, doing all kinds of embarrassing circus tricks like playing with beer bottles on stage to whipping out tits on the floor for a dollar or two to doing dirty dances. Internet, Instagram and cheap prostitutes probably pay a big part as well. Hook up culture too. Having sex for some people is like brushing their teeth, it means nothing. A BJ is not considered sex for some. To me that is crazy but this is reality. I blame Bill Clinton for that one. The younger crowd is desensitized due to porn watching and scrolling through photoshopped unrealistic pictures on IG.....dancing is boring to them when they can see somebody stick something up their ass online for free. Too many girls are willing to give out their number, hang out after work and whatever else they are doing so the ones that don't are of course not interesting. Why spend $ on something you can never have? Personally I think that dancers should act like unavailable and unobtainable goddesses. I do think that certain places are good still but it is usually the more upscale clubs in larger cities that have stricter hiring practices where sucking on a beer bottle on stage would mean you would have to look for another club to dance at. While there is less stigma associated with being a dancer because it is so mainstream nowadays the stigma is still there.....
I do think that in general the heydays of making good money every night unless you are lucky enough to work in an amazing club are can still do OK compared to some jobs but not like back in the day.
I am a rather "lazy" dancer....I am definitely not interested in putting in some extra "efforts" to make money. My number has been the same since I got a cell phone. My phone is not ringing non stop and I do not communicate with "customers" for them to come in and spend money on me. That would be a full time job outside of the cub. No thank you. Have I ever given out my number to a man I met in the club? Of course but far and few in between and the ones that have my number I consider my friends and I do not entertain friends at work.
I guess a lot more can be said about this topic but it's getting late and I am planning on waking up at 9 am so I think I will wrap this up and call it a night.

Beach Days

I recently spent five very nice and relaxing days at the Oregon coast by the beach. Of course I took pics and here they are....first some beach pics. I love the Oregon coast.

I tried the nearby coffee shops to find a favorite for the next time I go.....I found two. One in Lincoln City and the other one in Pacific City, same distance to both from the beach house.

I had an amazing strawberry rhubarb pie. Home made of course with a side of made in Oregon Tillamook ice cream.

The cutest little post office.

A sign that I liked.

Mermaids of course, I love mermaids.

The dogs had a great time. This is Senna's beach and playground and she wants to be by the water, that is her happy place.

Chhaya prefers to sunbathe and take long naps, in between enjoying food and playing tug.

I saw a beautiful rainbow.

So....I did not go by myself. I have met someone that makes me very happy. I don't want to say too much else.....besides that we have a lot in common and that makes me super happy too.

AND to make it ever better.....he plays backgammon! ❤️

Russian Presidential Election

Well.....will Putin remain the President of Russia for a fourth term? Most likely. I have loosely followed the Russian presidential election. Imagine if the only female candidate would go ahead and win? Ksenia Sobchak.....Russia's own Paris Hilton, a blonde socialite and tv personality/actress, feminist and designer of rubber boots. Rubber boots? How do I get my hands on a pair of these boots? Ksenia does have an education so she is not a dummy.....perhaps comparing her to Paris Hilton is not the best example.
And in the middle of the Russian election there is also the recent incident in England involving a former Russian intelligence agent (spy) and his daughter, poisoned by a nerve agent. This has led to tension between Russia and the UK. And this is not the first ex Russian spy and exile to be poisoned in the UK. There have been a few. Basically the Kremlin is showing its power. Although any involvement in this is strongly denied by them. Who might be next to be poisoned? Alexei Navalny?
What does Putin want? To stay in power of course. He is a very patriotic man that thinks very highly of Russia. Look at the size of that is the largest country in the world by area. In Putin's mind, he is the only one that can lead Russia on the road to the great power he foresees for his country. And Putin wants to meet me too of course, we can go horseback riding, take a few great selfies and I will get an amazing interview with him.
Putin is like a modern day Genghis Khan. OK.....Ksenia, send Tati a pair of those rubber boots.